Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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