He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize