i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
