The maid of honor just puked.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize