Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Sext me about skeletons
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
