I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
