I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
