yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
