i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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