i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
