would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
