I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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