nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
