yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
