I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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