My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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