That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sorry about my life...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
