Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
