The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
