im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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