I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
