I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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