I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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