I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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