no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
