she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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