there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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