I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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