On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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