You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you had me at cake vodka
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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