I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
