You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
