i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize