Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
