Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
