if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Im part way to drunk.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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