I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
