just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
