i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
