I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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