Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
