I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
