he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
