She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
