We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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