the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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