it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
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She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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