pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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