That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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