I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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