So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
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Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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