The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
