Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
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you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
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Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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